I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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