They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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