I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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