people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
