No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
