You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
