Cold hands, warm shart.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
