I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
