is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
