how can u be prego again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
