idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
