My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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