why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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