Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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