She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
