He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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