Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
