did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
