She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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