all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
