Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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