genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
