I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
