So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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