How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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