We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
