just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
