I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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