Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
