whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
