i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
COCAINE IS GR8
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
