Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
