kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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