I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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