dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
