you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
