I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
