haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
