just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
