he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
