white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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