I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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