singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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