The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
third nipple confirmed
3 2 1 whiskey
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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