My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
