So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to make out with him forever
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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