belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
