Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
