honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
