yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
