What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
