So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
